


This Time it Hurts

by Rattlesnake



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Attraction, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Sexual Tension, Stormpilot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 16:24:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18781864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rattlesnake/pseuds/Rattlesnake
Summary: “I wish you would not always stay calm”, Finn said, his hands grabbing the armrests of his seat. “I really want to panic but I feel like I have no right to when you are this relaxed.”Stranded on a planet and in danger of being descovered by the First Order, Finn and Poe have to work together even closer to get out of this mess.





	This Time it Hurts

„The engine is failing“, Poe said. “I’m going to try and bring us down safely. Hold on tight, this might get wobbly. Ready, BB-eight?”

“I wish you would not always stay calm”, Finn said, his hands grabbing the armrests of his seat. “I really want to panic but I feel like I have no right to when you are this relaxed.”

Poe smiled. “You never panic when it’s important.”

“Oh yes I do, I just manage to hide it well.”

“Maybe I do, too.”

“No Poe.” Finn shook his head “I’ve come to know you. You like this. You live for situations like these. You’re only happy when you’re close to dying.”

“That’s not true”, Poe said. Not anymore, he added in his head. A side-glance at Finn showed him the other man’s wide-open eyes, glued to the windshield and the fast approaching surface of the planet below them. 

“Should we eject?” Finn asked, a little breathless.

“No. BB-eight will use our power-sources to slow us down at the last moment. We should be fine.”

“Should be. I’ve come to hate that fragment in a sentence.”

“Hold on tight”, Poe said and then there was a howling sound and a lot of green and something seemed to burst and a loud crash and he thought he felt Finn’s hand on his but then he was hit hard on the head and everything was black and he wasn’t sure he hadn’t imagined it.

“Did I imagine it?” was the first thing he thought when he came back to the surface of reality. “Where’s Finn?” Was the second. Things were a little chaotic in his head and he didn’t feel quite ready to open his eyes yet. He had to. Of course. 

Still green. Was there something wrong with his vision? Because the colour was of a poisonous intensity and seemed almost unreal. He groaned and pushed himself to an upright position. Plants. All around him. Tall ferns, weirdly grown trees and a bush with bright red berries he didn’t trust at all. A jungle planet. Better than sand he supposed. There were also strange humming sounds all around him and he suspected they were produced by insects. He just hoped they weren’t as large as they sounded.

“Finn?” he called out, getting up slowly, because he felt a little dizzy. Also, his head hurt like hell. “Where are you? Finn?”

“No”, Finn said, and Poe stumbled over to him. He was stretched out on the ground, spread-eagled, his eyes still closed. 

“Are you all right?” Poe asked, kneeling next to him. “Did you break anything?”

“No, but I’m not doing this anymore”, Finn said. “Out of the frying pan and into the fire. I’ve had enough of that for a lifetime.”

“At least we seem to have lost our followers. And the First Order is going to have a hard time finding us here.” He looked up at the trees towering above them, shielding the planet from prying eyes. 

“And we’re still together”, Finn added.

“Yes.” Poe’s smile got wider. “There’s also that.”

Finn opened his eyes and looked up at him. He frowned. “You’re bleeding.”

Poe touched his right temple. “I must have hit my head.”

“Let me see”, Finn sat up and pushed his hand away. His fingers feathered over Poe’s skin, surprisingly gentle. “It’s not bad but you probably have concussion. Do you feel dizzy?”  


“A little.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll watch out for you.”

“I know.”

Poe thought that his concussion was probably the least of their worries now, but he was touched by Finn’s attention.

“So, where are we?” Finn asked, looking around. “Are those ferns? Wow, they’re huge.”

“Indeed. BB-eight? Any idea where we are?” Poe asked the droid that was just rolling towards them. He listened to the beeping sounds for a moment. 

“What is he saying?” Finn asked.

“We’re on a small and not well-known planet near Onderon. He couldn’t say a lot about the fauna and flora, though.”

“Maybe that’s for the best”, Finn said. “Can’t fear what you don’t know. Can he fix the ship?”

Beeping sounds again.

“It might be possible”, Poe said. “But we will also send a hidden signal out to the small rebel base on Onderon and hope they can detect it.”

“Not much else we can do, I suppose.” Finn looked dejected. “Damn. It feels as if we’re letting Rey and Leya down. They probably think we’re dead.”

“No, they know about my excellent flying skills”, Poe said. “And they know I would not let the First Order kill you.” He got up and stretched a hand out to Finn.  
“Let’s build a fire. BB-eight says the nights can become quite cold here.”

“Good thing I’ve had basic survival training in the First Order.” Finn grinned. “We shouldn’t have a problem finding wood here.”

Finn hesitated when there was a sound from the underbrush. A bustling and cracking of little twigs as if someone or something was approaching. Poe stepped closer to Finn and drew his blaster pistol, eyes glued to the ferns and bushes close by. A giant beetle emerged and started waving its feelers at them. His large iridescent eyes seemed to be fixed on them and it clicked its pincers.

“Stars, that thing is ugly”, Finn said. “Have you ever seen such a big one?”

“Once”, Poe said. “And there were many of them. Let’s hope he hasn’t brought his tribe.”

The beetle seemed to have determined they weren’t suitable prey for him and stumbled off to the right. 

“At least he seemed harmless.” Finn visibly relaxed and Poe thought this was not the right moment to tell him that the beetle’s presence indicated there would probably also be less harmless giant insects around. 

BB-eight had been right. It became extremely cold as soon as the small orange sun had set. Poe was glad they already had a fire going and a stock of wood to last them through the night. At least there was an abundance of that on this planet. They had set the fire close to the X-Wing so they could find shelter there quick if necessary. They would also sleep in there. 

For now, they were sitting close to the fire. Finn’s elbows were resting on his drawn-up knees as he was staring into the flames. A pot of canned food from their emergency ratio was cooking on a hot stone and Poe was carving a piece of wood. It could have been peaceful if they hadn’t been stranded.

“We’ll have to find more food tomorrow”, Finn said, gesturing at the pile of non-poisonous berries they had collected. “If we haven’t managed to get away from here by then.”

“It will take a few days at least.” Poe said. “But BB-eight is sure we will be able to find food here.”

The droid had already taken his resting position in his navigator’s seat at the back of the X-Wing. Poe wasn’t worried about food. But he was worried about other things. According to BB-8 quite a few species on this planet were hostile, some of them poisonous and aggressive. The howling and buzzing sounds coming from somewhere inside the jungle were far away for now and they did not seem to worry Finn. Sometimes it was a good thing he was not able to decipher BB’s code yet. 

Poe took a sideward glance at him and could not help but noticing how beautiful his dark skin looked in the light of the fire. It pulled at Poe’s heart to watch him. This was not the first time he felt attracted to another man and he had never been shy about it. This time was different, even though he was not sure why. Maybe Finn’s history made him feel like he was somehow taking advantage of him. He still wasn’t sure how things in the First Order really worked but it certainly wasn’t an environment that encouraged people to explore their own needs and desires. He didn’t want to push Finn into anything, and it seemed as if Finn didn’t really understand flirting and advances. Poe had witnessed him brushing them off on more than one occasion. He cared deeply for Rey, but from what Poe understood he loved her more like a sister.

He cleared his throat. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“We haven’t really had an opportunity to talk”, he began. “What is it like for you to have left the First Order? Doesn’t it feel strange sometimes?”

Finn shrugged. “Less so than I thought. I’m sure some people would miss the structure and always knowing what was expected from them. But I was never good at that. I left because I was a coward, though. I didn’t want to fight, and I didn’t want to die.”

“Wrong.” Poe said. “You’re not a coward. “You’ve proven that again and again.”

“Yes, I still am. Sorry to disappoint you. I’m still afraid of almost everything.”

Poe put his hand on Finn’s shoulder. “That’s what makes a true hero. Being afraid and still fighting.”

Finn’s smile was a little sad. “I knew you would say that. You always see the best in me, Poe. Did I tell ever tell you I tried to get away from the Raddus after Rey had left? I was trying to flee. And I would have if Rose hadn’t stopped me.”

“I believe you would have come back.”

“I’m not sure about that. I don’t think I’m the man you see in me.”

“From what I know about the First Order I would not have thought that anyone could leave their ranks still having as much humanity and bravery inside of them as you do. You amaze me every day, Finn.”

The truth was that it was getting harder for Poe to fight Stormtroopers. He had always seen them as soulless creatures only willing to fight and kill. Knowing Finn made him understand that there were still humans under those masks. At least in some cases.

“Did you ever have friends in the First Order? Or something more?” He hoped he wasn’t going too far but Finn did not seem surprised by the question.  
“It was so different from the Resistance”, he said. “They made sure you never had the same team or roommate for long. I never thought about it but now I’m sure they did not want us to grow attached to each other. There was someone I liked, though.”

“Do you want to talk about them?”

“He was a few years older than me.”

He. Poe stared straight into the flames.

Finn wrapped his arms tighter around his knees. “He was the same as me. Didn’t want to kill. So of course, he was shot. And I mourned him. We didn’t have a lot of time together, but I still miss him.”

“I’m sorry, Finn.”

“He was more for me than a friend. But I only understood that afterwards. I never thought about my feelings. They were not important.”

“They are now.”

“I know.” Finn smiled. “That is the best part of having left the First Order.” He looked at Poe. “You remind me of him a little, you know?”

Poe felt his heart beat faster in his chest. “Why?”

“He was also reckless and caring at the same time.”

Poe swallowed. “Is that how you see me?”

Finn was quiet as if he was having second thoughts and Poe very much wanted to reassure him. He couldn’t find the right words, though. What was the matter with him? It had always been easy to win people over. What was different this time?

“I’ll be right back”, Finn said, getting up. “Need to pee.”

Poe wondered if he really had to go or had just wanted to get out of the situation. He wanted to tell him not to go too far but did not want to seem patronizing. He knew Finn hated that. Still he sat up a little and listened for every sound from the direction Finn had left. 

He relaxed when he heard his footsteps coming back but in the next moment there was a loud hiss and a shout. It took Poe seconds to grab his blaster and rush over to where he had heard Finn.

A giant praying mantis had grabbed him with her forelegs and was pulling him towards the bushes. Finn was kicking and hitting her, but she didn’t even seem to notice. Poe pointed his blaster at her torso and fired. She gave another hiss and let go of Finn to stagger off into the forest.

“Damn.” Finn got up immediately. “Serves you right, cricket”, he called after it, rubbing his arm. “Stars, that thing nearly got me. I just hope it didn’t destroy your jacket.”

“I can fix it”, Poe said, putting both hands on Finn’s shoulders and looking at him. “Are you alright? What about your arm?”

“Twisted it a little. I’ll be fine.”

He looked more annoyed than shocked and Poe was glad. His own pulse was racing, and his knees felt a little weak. He knew he would never forgive himself if he let anything happen to Finn. He had always been protective, but it was still different this time. It felt vital to keep Finn safe.

“We should go inside”, he said, still holding Finn’s arm. Under the circumstances he was sure it was okay if he stabilized him a little.

When they were sprawled out on one blanket on the floor, covered with a second, Finn turned to face Poe. “Can I ask you something too?”

“Of course.” They were lying as far apart as the blanket allowed, both looking up at the ceiling and as regrettable as Poe found that he did not want to overstep any boundaries.

“What was it like growing up in the Republic?”

“I had a good life”, Poe said. “Until the First Order became stronger and the Republic failed to react. That’s why I joined Leia.”

“Yes, I know. I just wonder what it must be like to always make your own decision. To become the person, you really want to become.”

Poe reached out a hand towards Finn and touched his arm. “You made your own decision when you left the First Order. The most important decision of your life. Many people can’t do that. Even if they don’t grow up in a fatalistic system.”

“Thank you, Poe.” Finn turned to face him, and Poe could see his dark eyes shining in the dim light of the twin moons. “I just sometimes wonder what I would be like if I had lived like you. Or even like Rey.”

“You could not have become a better person.”

“Why are you always so good to me?”

“I like you, Finn.” Poe said without hesitating. Maybe a little too much, he added in his mind. But then he felt Finn’s hand on his own and this time he could be sure he wasn’t imagining it. Suddenly he was almost glad they would probably be stranded here a little longer.

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at Stormpilot, though they've always been a background pairing in my stories. They deserve more! Please tell me if you liked it, I always feel unsure when writing a new pairing.


End file.
